I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
