I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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