I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
