My brain says no but my pants say off.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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