Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
