i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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