can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
And then my night got REAL pukey
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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