Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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