No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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