She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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