WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
