can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I have feelings that need drinking.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
