I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
