A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
