I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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