That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
