So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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