The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
