well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
