it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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