how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
