i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
