i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
