I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
