Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Girls should come with a carfax report
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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