Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
