Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
why is half of my head shaved?
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