She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
