we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
