ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
