I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I want to have your abortion
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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