Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Randomize