Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
