How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
