We got so high we made milksteak
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
