CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
