Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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