Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
