We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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