We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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