what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize