Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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