He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Say something about gay babies.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
home. puking in laundry basket.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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