Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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