a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
