butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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