you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
