so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
