That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just took my morning after pill in the library
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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