Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
