Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
