How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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