I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
