Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
