Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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