At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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