That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
