he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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